Wednesday, September 28, 2005

So does this make Extreme Home Improvement officially the Department of Welfare?

Laura Bush to appear on Extreme Home Improvement - link courtesy of the Seattle Times.

Quotes from the story follow:

It's not clear exactly what Mrs. Bush will do, but Tom Forman, executive producer and creator, said he is hoping that she'll just pitch in and help unload.

Yeah, that's gonna happen. Suuure.

"We got a call from the White House saying, 'What are you doing and if you need help, just let us know,'"

"Unless we're, you know, on vacation or shopping or something."

Good thing (?) my new job isn't associate producer of Extreme Home Improvement.

"What do we do? Help people in desperate trouble, you know like homeless families, disabled veterans, people who have had a major catastrophe in their lives and now face utter ruin. In short, we're doing your job."

My point is that if the government is going to force me to give it money - and it will, because that's what government is for - spending that money on old, sick, and poor people is more appropriate to "promote the general welfare" than spending it on corporate handouts and free rides for the wealthy.

Naah - I'm not saying give every poor person in America a million-dollar home (although we've spent enough screwing around in Iraq to afford to*). On the other hand, isn't Extreme Home Improvement the model of how success in America works now? You can spend your whole life struggling to survive, and the momentary favor of the almighty Corporation can lift you up or, more likely, strike you down.

I'm calling it the "Golden Snitch" theory. Life for a working-class person is like being on the Slytherin Quidditch team. You're playing a hideously complicated game that you have no idea what the rules are of, except that your leaders can openly defy them while you cannot. Your mightiest efforts have little to no effect on the actual course of the game, and without warning Harry Potter catches the Golden Snitch and utterly screws you over.

Is this really what we want our country to be like? Great if you have money or know someone who does, a fairytale if a media corporation decides they need some good PR off of you, and an utter nightmare for everyone else, especially when the bills for the Iraq war and the tax cut for the rich come due.

So what would I do if Extreme Home Improvement showed up? Welcome them with open arms and a smile on my face. I do, after all, have a family.

* All figures in this rant are pulled from the same place Rush Limbaugh pulls his.**

** Not literally. Ewwww.

No comments: