Thursday, January 26, 2006

We Respond To Our Readers: Anonymous Cowards Aren't Just for Slashdot Anymore

Gentle Reader, with the debate over Judge Alito continuing, with our President continuing to insist upon his right to ignore laws he finds inconvenient, with hate and eliminationism replacing consensus and cooperation, I ask you to join with me and together - we will mock some poor idiot who tried to drop off some drive-by trolling.

"Idiot" could be a little strong. Perhaps he merely failed to realize that I control this site, and like a right-wing talk radio host, I have no problem hanging up on him and dissing him for twenty minutes (well, metaphorically speaking).

The first missive from this paragon of the junior high school debate team is as follows:

What a Stupid F***ing Idiot!!!!!!!!!
Left Wing A*****e
Ah, the Smacktard school of debate. At least he spelled everything correctly, although the mysteries of capatilization and punctuation appear to be elusive.

Terry Pratchett points out, in the Discworld novel Maskerade (yes, that's spelled correctly) that the use of five exclamation points is considered a sure sign of mental derangement. Here I count nine. I suggest counseling and medication.

As a rebuttal to point one, Anonymous Coward, not only am I smarter than you, I have a better job, my wife is better looking than your imaginary girlfriend, and my daughter is smarter and more adorable than any DNA evidence you may inflict upon the date-rape victim that is the closest you'll ever get to a relationship.

Now, on to his second missive, wherein he discovers that I have comment moderation enabled:

after approval.....hmm how [c]onvenient you cowards!!!! You will just filter out the conservatives in favor of the lefty's
Looks like he's used up most of his capital letters on the first one. Fortunately, he's calmed down to four exclamation points.

No, Anonymous, I filter out the porn spam, most of which is better written and more insightful than your miserable attempt at commentary. And any "conservative" reading this, so virulently opposed to my liberal beliefs in a small, efficient federal government and strict compliance with the Constitution, can feel free to comment as there's no way I can tell whether or not he's left-handed.

Coward, eh? Here's a phone number for you to call, Anonymous.


Okay, this will be the last time I do this. Not that I don't want to give the freaks that drop such commentary off any more attention than I have to (although I don't - you should see some of the death threats that I get), but because, frankly, it's not as much fun as I thought it would be.

Some Bushite, probably in Oklahoma City (I could trace his IP farther, but why?) got all pissed at my site, and that was the best he could do. I feel like I'm picking on the retarded kid.

Note- Yes, I filtered out his swear words. While I drop the occasional cuss word myself, Blog Explosion reminds me once again that they're sending little old ladies and children to my site, and could I please stop calling Bushites cocksuckers.

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