Monday, November 07, 2005

Moody Loner's California Special Election Guide

Right then. I'm sure you've all been wondering what my recommendations are for tomorrow's special election in California. Well, here they are, the proposition (my name for it, anyway), the quick answer, and the long answer.

Prop. 73: The Make Your Teenage Daughter Talk to You About Sex Amendment.

Quick response: No.

Long response: Oh, this is going to go over well. If you don't think a teenage girl would rather have a back-alley abortion than talk to her parents about sex, you don't know your teenage daughter. Especially the teenage daughter with abusive parents - precisely who this screws over the most. Maybe this should be the Enshrining Parental Abuse Act.

Prop. 74: Screw the Teachers Act.

Quick response: No.

Long response: Arnie wants to punish teachers for standing up to him. Screw you, Arnie.

Prop. 75: Screw the Unions Act.

Quick Response: No.

Long response: Those mean, mean unions won't roll over and let Arnie have his way with them, so they need to be taught a lesson. Well, screw you, Arnie.

Prop. 76: The Governor Needs More Power Initiative.

Quick Response: Sure, why not? Hahahah. No.

Long response: Not only is the Governator not paying back the $2 billion he borrowed, but he wants to make sure he can arbitrarily cut spending to education whenever he wants.

Now, to be fair, the Governor's going to have to do something like this if he's ever going to balance the budget, and I homeschool my daughter so it shouldn't impact us personally.

So I'm going to be just as fair to the Republicans as they are to me.


Prop. 77: Three Retired Judges 0wNzOrz Us Act.

Quick Response: No.

Long response: Redistricting between censuses? Texas, anyone? Then again, this does look a lot like the plan for Ohio. So what's the catch? I don't know, but this is the Republican Party we're talking about so I assume there is one. No.

Prop. 78: The Prescription Drug Companies Want to Save You Money Initiative.

Quick response: Yeah, right. No.

Long Response: Yeah, right. No.

Prop. 79: The Prescription Drug Plan You Don't Hear About Act.

Quick Response: Why not?

Long response: The prescription drug companies don't like this one at all. Sounds like a selling point to me. If they're so against it, maybe it'll actually save us some money.

Prop. 80: Something Having to Do With Energy Reregulation Act.

Quick Response: Errr....

Long response. God, deregulation sucked. Do you remember that? 'Cause I sure do, and I remember who we have to thank for it. The energy companies are against this, which is an argument for it, but right now it's a coin-toss.

Well, that's it from me. Go vote, and remember - PAPER BALLOTS!

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