Monday, October 02, 2006

Why The Hell don't We Get the Funny Dictator?

Yeah, I know it's old news, but I thought some more about Hugo's comedy routine at the UN while I was moving and internetless, so while the Kool Kidz are covering the ongoing Foley meltdown I'll be talking about Hugo Chavez and ol' Chimpy.

So, why the hell don't we have the funny dictator? For Christ's sake, this is the United States of America. Sure, you can argue that Central and South America have had their share of stupid, brutal thugs, and that as the new dictatorship in town it's only fair that we take our turn.

To which I respond: Go hug a tree, you Birkenstock-wearing, latte-sipping, Volvo-driving liberal! The entire world economy is based on me getting what I want, when I want it, and screw the poor bastards in Africa and Asia and South America that have to sacrifice to keep it up. Why do you think we have terrorism, because they hate our freedoms? Look, we got rid of our freedoms and they still hate us.

So yeah, we should have the funny, charming dictator and Venezuela should have another stupid, brutal thug inflicted upon their suffering populace. In short, we should broker a trade. I know the Republican'ts aren't going to like this - after all, it's a lot of hard work to shave a chimp and teach it to talk - but they can just jack gas prices back up to three or four bucks a gallon again.

And I can watch the press conferences at which our El-Presidente-for-Life deigns to speak, and I can laugh at him without feeling nauseated for what our country has lost. And that's what it's all about, right?

5 comments:

Dawn Benko said...

I have a better idea. Why don't you move to Venezuela for a while to try it out. Then come back and tell us if that would be a better choice.

Moody Loner said...

See, that's the easy part. The Republican't Congress has already brought Venezuela here.

Jolly Roger said...

Ah, the idiotic winger meme. "Love it or leave it."

I really wonder how these dumbasses would function if everyone did as they wanted, since an America with nothing left but wingers would be a country full of people too stupid to wipe their own asses. Imagine the smell!

happy camper said...

Hugo can't do much more than swear at us and accuse us of conspiracy, since he's relatively powerless. If he were in Bush's shoes, he would have to act like a buffoon, since he would have the power to do what he wants. Regardless of how you feel about Bush, these 3rd world types are all the same, and they usually become far more conservative once they aquire real power. Iran on the other hand...

El Pescador said...

Speaking of Iran...

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20061009/lindorff

Um, did you mean "funny dictator" in the humourous sense?

-El